Get Out of Your Dog’s Way: Why Letting Them Try (and Even Fail) Builds Real Confidence

We’ve all seen it: a dog shows even a hint of stress, and their human immediately swoops in. They either help the dog through it or pull them out of the situation entirely.

Here’s the thing: we think we’re helping. However, in many cases, we’re actually standing in our dog’s way. When you intervene too quickly, you’re not saving your dog from stress. Instead, you’re robbing them of the chance to succeed, learn something new, and build true confidence.

Let me show you what happens when you take a breath, trust the process, and give your dog the space to try.

Building Confidence: The Importance of Letting Dogs Learn

When I first tried RunBuddy Mobile with my dogs, I’ll be honest—I was nervous. Not because I didn’t trust the service (shoutout to Brandon, you’re magic), but because I love my dogs deeply and I hate seeing them stressed. Sound familiar?

I brought my 12½-year-old shepherd Ba’cho and my 5-year-old GSP/poodle mix Ellie. Ba’cho, my sweet senior, looked overwhelmed the moment he got on the self-powered mill. His pupils were dilated, he was panting, and his footing was unsteady. My gut reaction? Step in. But I didn’t.

Instead, I turned to Ellie, who had her own little stress signs. Within minutes, she was running and barking with joy. She was fully letting loose in a way I’d never seen before. Meanwhile, Ba’cho—encouraged and guided by Brandon—kept moving. Slowly but surely, his confidence started building.

By our next session, Ba’cho ran into the van with his tail up, ready to jump on that mill. Did he still wobble a bit? Sure. But now he was motivated. He felt capable. He was proud. That’s real confidence—and at 12½, that’s not easy to build.

The Magic of Overcoming Fear: Zoey’s Journey

Zoey’s owner wanted her to love the water. She already swam in creeks, but a pool? That was a totally different story.

At first, Zoey avoided it. She whined, paced, and pawed at the water before running off to chase lizards. She was interested but stressed. And just like with Ba’cho, it would’ve been easy to say, “Eh, maybe next time.”

But instead, we supported her through the challenge. We used light leash pressure and gentle guidance to lead her to the shallow step. We showed her how to get in and out. Slowly, she worked through the stress. Repetition built familiarity, and stress started to fade.

By the end of the session, she was launching off the step like a dock diving pro—chasing pool noodles and soaking up her new favorite hobby. If her owner had responded to that initial stress with avoidance, Zoey might’ve never touched water again.

The Way You Respond Matters: Be the Calm in the Storm

When your dog shows stress, the way you respond in that moment shapes how they’ll react next time.

If you jump in with baby talk, pull them away, or hover too closely, you’re confirming their fear: “Yep, you should be scared.” But if you stay calm, grounded, and supportive—showing them that they’ve got this—you help them realize the world isn’t so scary after all.

Think of it like this: A toddler trips and falls. It’s not a bad fall, but the second you yell “Oh no! Are you okay?!”—tears start to flow. But if you smile and say, “Whoa! Look how high you jumped! Shake it off!”—they bounce right back.

The same principle applies to dogs. They look to you to decide if something is safe, dangerous, or no big deal.

Love Them Like Family, Treat Them Like Dogs

I’ll be the first to say: I love my dogs like family. But I also respect the fact that they’re not human. They’re canines. Dogs don’t need us to parent them like toddlers. They need us to lead them like dogs.

Here’s what I don’t mean: “A dog is just a dog.”

Here’s what I do mean: “A dog is a dog—and that’s a beautiful thing.”

When we treat our dogs like dogs, we honor who they are. We give them what they need to succeed in our world: structure, leadership, and chances to build resilience.

Deciding When to Step In vs. When to Let Them Figure It Out

In moments of stress, ask yourself a few key questions:

• Is my dog physically safe?

• Is this challenge reasonably within their skill set?

• What’s the worst thing that could happen?

• Do we have a solid enough relationship that they trust me here?

  
  

If the answer is “yes,” then let them try. Let them win. If the full task is too hard, break it into smaller chunks, but still find a way to let them succeed.

When dogs learn that stress equals you stepping in every time, they’ll never believe they can handle anything without you. This can lead to separation anxiety, insecurity, and a reluctance to try.

Building a Strong Dog: What Confidence Looks Like

Every time your dog faces manageable stress and comes out the other side, they build a little more confidence and independence. They also strengthen their bond with you as their guide.

If you feel your own stress rising when your dog struggles, take a breath and remind yourself:

• They’re safe.

• They’re capable.

• They’re not experiencing an emotional breakdown.

• You’re not breaking your relationship—you’re strengthening it.

  
  

Confidence-Building Drills for Your Dog

Here are a few of my go-tos to help dogs level up:

🐾 Jump Up Drills

Find objects of gradually increasing height or smaller surface area. Let them learn how to trust their body.

🐾 Treadmill Work (RunBuddy Style)

Self-powered mills teach body awareness, build stamina, and challenge them to work through an unfamiliar sensation. Plus, it’s a blast once they get the hang of it.

🐾 Texture Walks

Let your dog walk across unusual surfaces—boxes, jungle gyms, uneven terrain. This activates their brain and their body.

🐾 Mild Environmental Challenges

See something your dog finds “scary”? Don’t avoid it. Show them they can handle it with you by their side. That’s real leadership.

Final Word: Make Your Dog a Winner

Confidence isn’t built through coddling; it’s built through coaching. Let your dog struggle a little. Let them problem-solve. Let them win.

Be the strong, loving leader who shows them what they’re capable of. You’re not just raising a well-behaved dog. You’re raising a dog who’s fulfilled, focused, and free.

Let your dog be the hero of their own story!